8/10/2009

Trust Vs Love

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The other day after a lovely barbecue with a couple of my good friends, we embarked on one of many heated arguments on the hot topic- Love vs. Trust; the argument was once again everyone against one! Ok, maybe against two.

Most times in our arguments, we try to separate between the issues of love and trust in marriage and dating. Is it possible that it is perceived different in both cases? The argument or the discussion was that trust surpasses love in a romantic relationship. Majority of the group leaned towards love being the bases of every relationship, while the other one or two argued passionately that trust is the bases of every, and all relationship in order for it to succeed.

Now, this is what I feel is important. Yes, trust is a necessary ingredient in every relationship to work, but love is the binding force behind the relationship. The Bible says God is love! That is a strong statement! When we tear into bits and pieces of who God is manifested to be, we see that trust falls in that category, but above all things ‘Love is the greatest of them all’.

I personally believe that in a relationship if something goes wrong, the ability to forgive is not based on the trust I HAD for the person, but based on the love that was once there for him/her. Trust will have to grow to that level that it once was before the ordeal, and what makes this possible is the love present for that person. I can trust a friend, but it does not mean that will make me want to date the friend!

You might have comments as to why I cite the Bible all the time? Well, the Bible is the source of my knowledge! It is my way of life. All that I know is what the Bible tells me. In Colossians 3:14, it reads “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity”. Once again, this verse reiterates the necessity of love. Love sugarcoats it all. Love makes it perfect. Love is God, and God is love. Love binds together trust, joy, happiness, etc.
Also, 1 Peter 4:8 says; “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”. This is one of my favorite verses! This is a checkmate! A bullseye! A Head-on! Love covers over a multitude of sin. Love is very crucial for a relationship to hold together. God knew we humans would encounter such relationship ups and downs, that is why his teachings laid emphasis on the essence of love.

This is just to reiterate my point of view on this issue. We concluded saying we can’t do without both! Love and trust has to be in unison for a healthy relationship, to cross many hurdles. But I still believe that Love should be ranked higher than trust for a successful relationship. I am not sure what or how you view it, but please feel free to educate me and disagree with me as well.

6 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Great piece! Love is the greatest of them all! I was just having a mini argument myself with someone yesterday, Love Vs. Brain. I think there is a big misconception that when you love, you lose all sense and rationality. I don't necessarily believe so. I think it is possible to love, and still remain clear headed and focused. It all begins with love, before trust, before commitment, before everything else. Love is the building block, the basic foundation. Some people of course can be married for 40 years where they dont really love each other, its safe, its convenient and it works for them. But for a deep and fulfilling relationship, you have to start with love and build the rest.
And I wrote on my blog yesterday that, you must begin with a deep love for God and then unconditional love for yourself. You start with that, you're on the right path. It wont be easy ofcourse, but you're on the right path.

Kaduna Girl said...

I remember a friend telling me to go into a relationship with my head not my heart, bcos when it goes wrong I can come out with my sanity. So i definitely agree wit u, u can love and not mush up ur little head in it! it enables u make the right judgment while in dat relationship. & like u said, love God, love ourselves, and then our neighbors. the way we treat ourselves is how we treat our neighbors, and how pple treat us. so that one is very very important.
thank u thank u!

Grace said...

There is this common saying i like to remember when i start acting a fool...it goes like this " To handle others use your heart, to handle yourself use your head." I don't think it is possible to love w/o the heart...that is why love is a risk, we just have to take that big step, let ourselves go, and really love! I really believe that is the only way we can get the most out of love...the trust will come...depending on how the whole love thing turns out. I think at the end of the day where there is love there is trust...they both go hand in hand, but love conqures all.....Me sha i know i cannot marry someone i only trust...but i can marry someone i love!

Kaduna Girl (Amina) said...

Yea I had always asked myself how! how can i use my head not my heart! hmmm, i hv learnt! they say experience is the best teacher..i agree...it sure is!
Love and trust definitely goes hand in hand. cant do without the other!

ChinMan said...

I think Trust can be misunderstood a lot, you could love somebody and Trust them but Trust can be and has been broken, people have fallen and fallen out of Love, in some cases it was not because of Trust or that they didnt love each other anymore, it just meant that the circumstance or situation did not fit. When I think about Love, it is not something that is attained, it is a Process. When you Love somebody, you Trust them but it does not mean you trust them to the level where you lose yourself or place unnecessary or unfair expectations on them. Like you have hinted, When you are fulfilled and completer then Trust is no longer so much of an issue, you would not place your trust in Man, in fickle human emotions, or on anything but the Love of God which ties every thing together. My two cents...Great piece by the way.

Kaduna Girl (Amina) said...

Oh Chinedu I like what u said. U just spiced it up wit ur two cents! U r right, pple normally atribute a break up on trust issues, but in some cases that truly wasn;t the issue. thanks Chinedu