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While reading Dr. Robert Anthony’s book on total self-confidence, I had to stop and reflect back on chapter six! It was on the POSITIVE power of love. I pulled out a lot of what i thought could and would be beneficial to share, and would hopefully empower you. Here goes it…

We ought to know that Love is not hate, violence, ambition, competition, or infatuation.

Infatuation focuses on outside traits, which eventually leads to disappointments.

Love is not sex. You can have sex without love, and love without sex. To all those that claim sex to be the only way to express your love! This is for you.

Love is the attracting, uniting, harmonizing force of the Universe. It is helping the other person grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Love is allowing the other person the complete freedom to be himself and accepting that person WITHOUT trying to CHANGE them.

Love means to LOVE! It doesn’t imply conditions.

It is absolutely foolish when we promise to love a person forever. We came to this world alone, and we will leave this world alone.

“Love is a moment-by-moment experience. Love will continue as long as each person fulfills a need and contributes to the relationship. Love must continue if a relationship is to be held together."

In order to preserve love, one partner must not attempt to change the other. This is one mistake a lot of us make. I am a living testimony! Trying to change my partner, even after he showed me who he truly was from day one! My effort to change the person eventually lead to a breakup, and that is what Dr. Anthony says in this book. Never attempt to change your partner, because it is destructive.

The more independent you feel, the more you will value your partner.

Bottom-line: love yourself in order for you to love someone. If you can love yourself, you will be able to show love.

By pointing out strengths in others, we are helping ourselves as well. Doing this would satisfy our own needs for loving, as well as generate even more positive response and increase our total self-confidence.

Love is the means by which we help others to be successful. It is a means by which we make others feel important, alive, & capable of self-improvement. By giving others recognition and assurance, & pointing out their positive traits, we can stimulate them to make the best possible use of their unlimited potential.

Loving thy neighbor is when we empower people to open their eyes to their own greatness; to their potential they never realized existed.

By doing all these, we are indirectly helping ourselves.


Grace said...

I love the bit on the importance of loving ourselves before we can be able to truely show love to others....I mean the ultimate commandment God gave us was to love the lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and "love your neighbor as yourself" the key in the second commandment is "yourself." So if we doubt our abilities, lack confidence, think we are inadequate, then what are we trying to give to our neigbours???? We really have nothing to give, no bility to love. What happens next is that we begin to look to other people to provide us joy....which is so sad cos that will never happen...

Kaduna Girl (Amina) said...

thanks for ur reflection aka blog! lol! but i agree...and that song JOY JOY!"Jesus first, urself last, and others in between!" they need to stop teachin kids that song...cos they dont get the right message across effectively. I didnt get it as a child. i always thought i had to be selfless...put others first...but the bottom line is to be able to love urself before you can love the next person. and of course love God totally first of all!

Maxine said...

They shdn't stop teaching it! It can be intepreted as being selfless. Being selfless does not necessarily mean you shdn't love yourself! The Bible also talks about "in humility, consider other better than yourself". It does not take away from the fact that you have to love yourself in order to teach others to love you or in order for others to love you. Great post!